Thanksgiving disorganized stream of consciousness.
09:56. Wife and child are watching the parade downstairs. He sounds excited.
Of course, I'm thankful. Glad to be here, although I do wish I knew what I'm supposed to be doing. Rearing a child? Just prolonging the human condition?
I read some remarks by Stephen Hawking on Wikipedia the other day. Enlightening. He brought up one aspect of Global Warming I hadn't previously thought or heard of:
"The danger is that global warming may become self-sustaining, if it has not done so already..."
Well, we don't really know until we try to reverse it, now, do we? I think it was only a suggestion, and that remark shouldn't be taken as a fatalistic "why bother" comment. No. Definitely not a fatalistic remark, not coming from a man living on borrowed time since he was in his early 20's. Now, THERE'S a man who has done something with himself.
It drives me nuts to hear some of my co-workers dismiss anything that does not align with their orthodoxy. They laugh derisively at talk of global warming, and even matters of social justice. I suspect sometimes there might be a touch of racism in their rhetoric, as well. Conservatism has failed me in a big way. Well, Republicans have, anyway. I just cannot fathom this groupthink that has developed among the die-hards in the party.
But how do I shake myself from this blah acceptance of what appears to be a tortuous dead-end job? I spend most of my waking hours in a job that is, well, your basic 9 to 5, with no particular prospects for change, except to apply to transfer to other agencies within the government. Pheh! What a waste. Aside from the job security one allegedly gets after a number of years with the federal government (as in, it takes an act of Congress, or an act of God, both equally likely, to fire a complete deadbeat), an unremarkable health insurance program, and a retirement fund that I can probably duplicate with a fair financial planner, what is the allure of this place where I work?
I hate conformity. Two million alleged years of evolution, and all we have to show for it are sheep who can drive SUV's.
I took the job to feed and house my wife and son. My wife is at her rope's end with her job, about 15 feet from where I sit at work. She's on a team of four people, she and one other person are the only ones who are able and willing to do the job at hand, another MIGHT do the job, if she ever came in from her smoke breaks long enough to LEARN it, and the other has put in 35 years in the federal service, and by God, he's EARNED the right to spend the day browsing the web and checking his mutual funds.
She wants to quit. I want her to quit. We'll be down to one income, and we might end up in a postition to default on a few debts, but she (hopefully) will have a little peace of mind.
Am I really a hippie for thinking like this? Anarchistic, maybe. I'd love to spend some time in an "anarcho-synchronous commune," to see if and how it works.
Midlife angst, I guess. I'm tired, and I'm tired of being tired. Many of the people around me tire me all the more. Routine. Same old same old. What is it about? What's so great about it? I know children need a bit of routine, to help them feel a bit more secure, but when it goes into adulthood? To the point where people wind up talking about the exact same thing every day, in the exact same manner...
"Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da da DUH.
Da da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH. (Hmmm.)
Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da da DUH.
Da da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH. (NYUK NYUK NYUK!)
Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da da DUH.
Da da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH. (HA HA HA!)"
Would you believe I look forward to talking to my 21-month old son, for the intelligent conversation?
Oh, spark of life! Look at those eyes! The grin that says the worst that's ever happened to him was getting circumcised, and he doesn't even remember that. I hope.
Happy imp, wrestling with his daddy.
Grouchy baby boy, not getting his way.
Loving little child, clinging around my neck.
Sleepy little monkey, nestling to my chest, dozing to his own, vast dreamland.
Curious boy, adventuring into drawers and cupboards where he shouldn't be, finding things he doesn't understand, but make a lot of noise when he drops them.
Yes, I'm thankful, actually, even in this haze of confusion and angst.
Oh, spark of life. I'm wet and I'm cold, but thank God I ain't old! This little boy, and this loving wife make me want to rise again, long live the Phoenix, and be something I'm proud to call a husband and father. Protector, teacher, role model, mate for life.
09:56. Wife and child are watching the parade downstairs. He sounds excited.
Of course, I'm thankful. Glad to be here, although I do wish I knew what I'm supposed to be doing. Rearing a child? Just prolonging the human condition?
I read some remarks by Stephen Hawking on Wikipedia the other day. Enlightening. He brought up one aspect of Global Warming I hadn't previously thought or heard of:
"The danger is that global warming may become self-sustaining, if it has not done so already..."
Well, we don't really know until we try to reverse it, now, do we? I think it was only a suggestion, and that remark shouldn't be taken as a fatalistic "why bother" comment. No. Definitely not a fatalistic remark, not coming from a man living on borrowed time since he was in his early 20's. Now, THERE'S a man who has done something with himself.
It drives me nuts to hear some of my co-workers dismiss anything that does not align with their orthodoxy. They laugh derisively at talk of global warming, and even matters of social justice. I suspect sometimes there might be a touch of racism in their rhetoric, as well. Conservatism has failed me in a big way. Well, Republicans have, anyway. I just cannot fathom this groupthink that has developed among the die-hards in the party.
But how do I shake myself from this blah acceptance of what appears to be a tortuous dead-end job? I spend most of my waking hours in a job that is, well, your basic 9 to 5, with no particular prospects for change, except to apply to transfer to other agencies within the government. Pheh! What a waste. Aside from the job security one allegedly gets after a number of years with the federal government (as in, it takes an act of Congress, or an act of God, both equally likely, to fire a complete deadbeat), an unremarkable health insurance program, and a retirement fund that I can probably duplicate with a fair financial planner, what is the allure of this place where I work?
I hate conformity. Two million alleged years of evolution, and all we have to show for it are sheep who can drive SUV's.
I took the job to feed and house my wife and son. My wife is at her rope's end with her job, about 15 feet from where I sit at work. She's on a team of four people, she and one other person are the only ones who are able and willing to do the job at hand, another MIGHT do the job, if she ever came in from her smoke breaks long enough to LEARN it, and the other has put in 35 years in the federal service, and by God, he's EARNED the right to spend the day browsing the web and checking his mutual funds.
She wants to quit. I want her to quit. We'll be down to one income, and we might end up in a postition to default on a few debts, but she (hopefully) will have a little peace of mind.
Am I really a hippie for thinking like this? Anarchistic, maybe. I'd love to spend some time in an "anarcho-synchronous commune," to see if and how it works.
Midlife angst, I guess. I'm tired, and I'm tired of being tired. Many of the people around me tire me all the more. Routine. Same old same old. What is it about? What's so great about it? I know children need a bit of routine, to help them feel a bit more secure, but when it goes into adulthood? To the point where people wind up talking about the exact same thing every day, in the exact same manner...
"Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da da DUH.
Da da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH. (Hmmm.)
Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da da DUH.
Da da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH. (NYUK NYUK NYUK!)
Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da da DUH.
Da da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH Da DUH da DUH. (HA HA HA!)"
Would you believe I look forward to talking to my 21-month old son, for the intelligent conversation?
Oh, spark of life! Look at those eyes! The grin that says the worst that's ever happened to him was getting circumcised, and he doesn't even remember that. I hope.
Happy imp, wrestling with his daddy.
Grouchy baby boy, not getting his way.
Loving little child, clinging around my neck.
Sleepy little monkey, nestling to my chest, dozing to his own, vast dreamland.
Curious boy, adventuring into drawers and cupboards where he shouldn't be, finding things he doesn't understand, but make a lot of noise when he drops them.
Yes, I'm thankful, actually, even in this haze of confusion and angst.
Oh, spark of life. I'm wet and I'm cold, but thank God I ain't old! This little boy, and this loving wife make me want to rise again, long live the Phoenix, and be something I'm proud to call a husband and father. Protector, teacher, role model, mate for life.
posted by Wildcard at 9:03 AM
2 Comments:
oh dear!
Happy Thanksgiving.....
Global Warming WILL happen, it isn't reversable, what we can do is gain more time. More time for us, our children and our childrens children.
The USA MUST get on board the Save The Planet programme. 10 years will see dramatic climate change. Move to New Zealand, that'll be a good place to be by then.
That said, surely it means we must make the most of each and every day we are blessed with.
Enjoy your family. I know I do mine...
Honestly, I didn't expect a reply. You mean, people actually READ these things? I mean, it's not like I've advertised this, or anything...
Thank you VERY much for the remarks.
One question: why New Zealand?
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