Monday, July 27, 2009

Fine. Be that way.


It occurs to me, after so many times of being about the only optimist in a conversation, that this is what the Village Idiot must feel like.


Okay. Y'all win. Life sucks, period. No, there is no bright side, except that as bad as things are, they can only get worse. No hope in the least.


Out of a job? You'll never find one, let alone a rewarding one that fits your particular interests and skill sets.


So, your S.O. has left you for someone else? Yup. They're probably better looking, smarter, more secure, and better in bed than you'll ever hope to be, even with that "enhancement" surgery.


And that party that won the election? Whether or not you voted for them, they're going to take away everything you own (not that you have a lot, anymore) and force you into a life of praying to some strange entity whose name you can't pronounce and living at the mercy of the state.


Tell me some more about how bad you got it, and I might just give you the family recipe for ricin. Pssh! Nevermind, you'll probably botch THAT up, too.


There. I agree with you 100%, and then some. I'm not trying to cheer you up at all, or even try to get you to look at things realistically. I'm telling you what you apparently want to hear. Feel better, yet?


See, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to respond, anymore. If I tell a person, "Yeah, things really suck for you," am I making the person feel better by affirming their position, or am I confirming their worst fears? If I try to say "Things could be worse," am I telling them things will get better, or am I telling them they're a whiney sack of shit?


This is actually kind of tricky, really, assuming a person does not want to feel bad... maybe there's a kind of feeling people feel on the "surface," but somehow there is some kind of metaemotion going on that feels "good" when one is just wallowing in misery?


Look what I have to sort through (because I care), and then tell me I'm the idiot, huh?


The easy way out is also the wrong way for me. I've been taught that "indifference" is actually a far worse sin than "hate." Somedays, however, like Pontius Pilate, it feels like the easiest, most expedient way to "resolve" someone else's crisis (for me, anyway) is to simply wash my hands of it and walk away, thus leaving the person in crisis in no worse (or better) condition than when I found them, but also leaving me a bit more calloused than I was at the start.


This is where it gets difficult interacting with people. One assumes that there is eventually a "pay off" for patiently trying to help someone. Eventually, and very often very intangibly, to be sure, but verbal cues, like repeatedly being told to "sod off" is as effective an "aversion" therapy over time as shock treatment.


This isn't addressed to anyone in particular, least of all anyone who actually reads these infrequent posts (thank you, by the way), and I'm certainly not "passive-aggressively" trying to make anyone feel guilty about feeling bad. I'm only pointing out that being a "bad ass with a bad attitude," or just being a pessimist is getting to be just enough of a popular ...fad? ...movement, even? ...that it is seriously getting harder for me to take an interest in anyone's "suffering."


I'm no idiot, but I really don't want to "used to care."

2 Comments:

Blogger Miriam Latour said...

I'm sure this is why therapists go through 8 - 10 years of education to learn how to respond to people with issues. Unfortunately, I've only accomplished the first half of the training, so I have nothing useful to say except...

It sucks to be me! It sucks to be me! Is there anybody here it doesn't suck to be? It sucks to be me!

We are living in the "it-sucks-to-be-me" generation. Sink into a muddy pit of self-wallowing without a straw. It's all the rage! :)

09:26  
Blogger Wildcard said...

I'm trying not to, because most of my life, I've been surrounded by people who either ridiculed any complaints I have had, or else vividly illustrated why people don't like chronic complainers.

Either way, what have I got to complain about that I can't laugh at, and...

suddenly, I feel so much closer to Bill Maher.

22:20  

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