Interesting conversation today. A co-worker of mine came to me during lunch, asking how the meeting went between services on Sunday regarding the re-calling of our pastor (i.e., whether or not she should return after her present call terminates in December).

I relayed to her a few of the sentiments expressed, that with a few exceptions, the voices mostly supported keeping her on as pastor. I told her one individual in particular had a small list of concerns that he didn't have time to relate, reasons why he is opposed to the idea of bringing R. back. I said that if I knew what those reasons were, I might consider swinging my vote in the other direction.

She said, based apparently on the scuttlebutt she'd heard, she's opposed to keeping R. on. She didn't go into too much detail, but she seemed to agree it would be a difficult but good step toward "healing" for everyone. She also said she really didn't understand why it is such a big deal. We should just address it, and be over it.

I mostly agreed. Our congregation's mission statement is that we are a people "saved by grace..." I have often wondered where our sense of grace is in all this, and other issues. It was funny, though, that all during this conversation at lunch, my friend barely ever looked me in the eye. Always looking off in some other direction. I mean, it's one thing to maybe glance and an ear, off to one side, but to always have some kind of eye contact at least once in awhile. She didn't. Even as she walked off, she didn't look at me. Why is that? It seemed to be more than just discussing religion within the workplace.

I don't know if I should press the issue. I'm not at all sure of the level of trust we have with each other, but this matter does seem to bother her a lot. I guess it's all the more distressing that she seems to have taken D's side of the issue, even though I'm sure there really isn't an "issue" to take sides on. She said she'd always preferred his particular style of preaching, and I totally understand that. Preachers have different styles that affect people in different ways.

However, she seems to understand the resulting chain of events to be a matter of vindictiveness on R's part. I hope I misunderstood her meaning in this, and I related what I had heard; these are Pastors, they're moral leaders in our church community. Basically, if there is something that is not right with a Pastor that might affect how he or she performs his or her duties, the other Pastor is responsible to report that, which evidently, R. did.

I am angry. Not that D. did something he shouldn't have. The resulting crisis aside, I'm actually fairly pleased to know he's human, too. No, I'm angry at the crisis that has come of it. I know the church higher-ups are doing what they think is best by barring him from preaching for a couple of years, but let's face it, they're doing that because of how people are. Where's the grace, I bitterly wonder. Well, come to think of it, the unique nature of a husband and wife as team pastors really complicates things a lot.

No, that raised another issue I'm having with my congregation. Last Sunday, we met partly to discuss the fate of a plot of land out beyond our parking lot. A number of years ago, a social service organization apparently asked for part of the land to develop an assisted living facility. No problem. The problem is that it has been five years, and they haven't raised the funds to build the building, sooooo... the question was whether or not to allow another five years to let them keep trying to raise the funds. As I understood it, we'd essentially be cutting them some slack with the extension. Hey, it's not easy trying to raise money for a non-LDS denominational project in Utah. We know that. We have a hella mortgage and an unfinished extension to our building to prove it.

I was therefore alarmed by many of the harsh phrasings used in the discussion, all but calling this organization a bunch of deadbeats. Our problem was that we didn't have essential information to make an informed decision, honestly. I was dismayed that the vote to grant an extension to the lending of the land failed miserably by a vote of 69 to 14. Where is the grace? Where are these Christians so well versed in Jesus's parables of grace, compassion, and forgiveness? I was a heartbeat away from dying of shame on the spot.

Now, next week, we're facing what is shaping up to be a divisive issue. Pro-Pastor-D vs. Pro-Pastor-R. Of course, we're liable to lose a few members, one way or another. Reckon we've lost some, already with the original resignation letter.

I'm about to throw up my hands, realizing we don't seem so much Christ-centered, as we are more into the "personality-driven" church, among other things.

Restoring Spirit, where are you?